Am I a monster? (Game Over)
by 4SnowAngels
Summary: Izaya has successfully killed Shizuo. But what if after slaying the beast Izaya doesn't get what he really wants out of it? Forced to face the demons he drowned out of his own mind, Izaya must confront his own humanity. Having given up living in this world he knows he doesn't belong in Izaya is ready to die. Until, a goddess offers him a chance to redo the last week of his life


"Game over"

As those sweet words left my lips I could feel myself breaking out into a smirk. My silver knife glistened in moonlight, reflecting my enemy's piercing glare in a way that sent a fantastic terrible shiver down my spin. As if an extension of my own hand my knife felt perfect as I held it out. This sight before me is straight out of a blissful dream. Here I stand casting a look of triumph over my decade long enemy as I point the tip of my blade to their heart. After craving this moment for so long at last it is finally here.

Shizuo Heiwajima, did that fool really believe he would be the one to kill me? The very thought is laughable. Who is the one that pulls the strings that can never be cut? Ah yes, it is I. In the end I move the pieces of this game and so there is only one final outcome, my win. It is utter insanity to truly think that his brawn would be a match to my brain. Brain over brawn, mind over matter, paper over rock, this is the simply way of life.

I shoot a glare to the man below me. Shizuo's eyes are like daggers, it's as if he's trying to pierce me with looks alone. Golden eyes that seethe with pure hate and rage. Oh how scared I am, what a very monstrous look! Very fitting of a beast such as him. Such emotion can be conveyed with his eyes, it reminds me of my lovely humans! I love all of humanity so much. Humans are so interesting, endless things to discover with them! My heart flies when my mind ponders on the infinite possibilities that each human carries within them.

But the man below me is my no means human. In this world full of wonderful humans there lies those who are different. Different in the most inhuman of ways. These things are not human and I don't need them nor do I love them. All humans are equal before god. Monsters are not. They are born a sin unlike humans who continuously stain their hands as quick as they wash them. Monsters are useless creatures who stand my way as well as humanities. That's why I have taken the duty of exterminating this vermin, Shizuo, from this lovely interesting world. Monsters hiding themselves in human skin, gah how it makes my stomach turn!

"Iz…ay…a" Shizuo huffs out with rage like venom coating his words. I care not that he hates me for I hate him just as much.

"It's been fun Shizu-chan, we've played by all the same rules but it's all over now. Bye bye~" I drench the truth to my foe. After all these years this story comes to an end.

All I have to do is move my knife and he'll die. No matter how monstrous he is he will not be able to handle the poison coating my knife.

"Goodbye you beast" I taunt again, condescendingly looking down.

…

My hand… is it shaking? Why? Why won't my hand move? I am not scared of anything here. All I have to do is plunge this knife down and then he'll die. Plain and simple.

Just.

Move.

My.

Fucking.

Hand.

And that's exactly what I do.

I plunge my blade right into his heart.

Slowly Shizuo's eyes close and the heaves of his chest come to a stop.

That's it then.

Shizuo is dead. I killed him! I will never see his stupid face again…

I stand up straight and look up at the sky. The clouds are so grey so I know it's going to rain. The dark clouds only add to the somber mood that one would think fills this room. Sadly the theatrics are off here, this isn't a somber occasion. The death of Shizuo should be celebrated!

To prove my point rain descends from the sky. Even the sky mourns the death of the fortissimo of Ikebukuro.

…..

"Hehhee…" A sound escapes my mouth involuntarily.

I killed him! I killed Shizuo!

"HAHAHAHA" Oh this is so great I could vomit! I clutch my stomach in laughter. "HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH" I laugh to the sky in utter hysteria.

What a wonderful day it is! A knife to the heart that he never truly had! What a dastardly tremendous way to end a monster such as Shizuo~! This is poetry in the making~

Art!

"HAHAHAHHAHAHA" I can't stop laughing! This is too much!

I bend over in laughter. My stomach hurts, it hurts so much! I can't stop! This is too great!

I fall down in my fit of laughter. How could I not? This is too sensational. By tomorrow this will be the buzz of the city! The best part being that the one behind the fall of Shizuo is no other than I. How the news will spread like a wildfire! My little humans should be praising me for doing them this favor. They are ungrateful little ones and won't appreciate it. That's fine though! After all I love them with all my heart! That's what makes them so interesting anyways~

Oh life will surely be entertaining from now on.

My laughter reduces me to the ground. This is ridiculous. I swear a six-pack is forming.

The rain muffles my laughter but somehow that makes it all the more ironic. You can't wash away the blood that stains my hands no matter how you may drown out my victory laugh.

"HAHAHHAHA" I curl up laughing next to Shizuo's corps. I am soaking wet right now but I couldn't care less. Let me marvel in this moment~

I roll to my stomach and plop my hands up to support my head

"Hehehe-hehe- Sh-Shizu, pff HAHAHA hehe… chan!~" I sing to his lifeless body.

No answer.

"HAHAHAH" I burst out again. No "Don't call me that" or anything! Shizuo is finally silent just like his name!

"The balance of power has tilted! Oh yes it has~" Chiming out I regain part of my voice. "All thanks to your failure to kill me!" I add. "Kasuka, Celty, no one can protect them from whatever I have in mind now… hehehe" I tease, losing control to the madding laughter at the end. "But fret not dear Shizu-chan!~" my words drip acid.

I position my legs on either side of the dead Shizuo and lean my face in close to him. "No one blames you. Monsters are meant to be slain." I ooze out slowly. Moving in my face a little closer I whisper the next words "I've won"

I retreat from his face and launch back up to a normal sitting position, my legs still on either side of him. Throwing my head back sharply glorious hysteria over fills me. The rain pats down on my hair that is by now dripping wet. I could die from the amount of joy I am feeling! This should be illegal! Not that I abide my laws anyways~

All at once my laughter stops. "Hah…haaaha…ha"

"…."

Shizuo Heiwajima is dead. What is this feeling that won't leave my mind…. Such a feeling is so alien… what is it?

Ah that's it then….

This feeling must be…

Pure pleasure. A dastardly twisted smile plays at my lips.

"I'd love to say and chat but even in this broken abandoned building people should be coming any second. Did you know gangs love to meet in places like this? Oh no, you wouldn't know. After all you always hated that stuff. Well you don't have to worry about that anymore!" I stand up and twirl away. The rain feels great on my skin.

"You don't have to worry, you are dead. Monsters don't get to go to heaven. Goodbye and good riddance Shizuo Heiwajima~!" I tease, skipping out of the building. "It's been fun~" I sing turning around at the door of the building. "Rot in hell" I smile waving a hand at his corps.

As I finish waving my hand the rain lets up. Rather theatrical rain today, isn't it? The clouds disperse allowing a crack of light to shine down. One beam but so happens to shine over Shizuo's corps.

Lying down in a building of rubble, a ray of sunshine defining his now still calm features. The glow the sun gives his pale skin a serene look. A knife through his heart destroys this picture. Blood pools all around catching the glint of the sun rays.

I burn this imagine into my mind as I turn my back on him. A gust of wind perfectly blows and the clouds move. The ray of sun leaves Shizuo's body and picks up the tail of my coat as I walk away. How beautiful.

Ah, how is it that I only now notice the blood staining my torso and hands? I was on the ground near the pool of Shizuo's blood. It's a good thing I wear black! Oh but the fur of my coat is all red now. Drenched in Shizuo's blood, how revolting.

I hold my hand up high and admire the liquid on it.

Stained in blood are my hands.

Our life together was based on quarrels we never needed amends.

Never would I need to pretend.

That we were ever friends.

I stick my hands into my pocket feeling for my trophy. When I engaged in this battle Shizuo was delivering something to Celty. I knew today was the day that I planned to kill him so I took the small package as a trophy.

How did I kill him?

Isn't it obvious?

I am Izaya Orihara! Observer of men and destroyer of beasts. And I can always get things to go my way.

I dramatically throw the little package up in the air and catch it with my hands.

Hmmm what to do now? I need to get home without anyone seeing all this blood on me. I could call Namie or someone to pick me up but I don't want to spoil anyone about Shizuo's death. Part of the fun will be seeing everyone's reactions.

I stop near a tree and swiftly climb to the top. Staring out from the tree I can see the city of Ikebukuro. During this fight we had run quiet a long way. That too was part of my plan.

To the other side of the city I see a small forest. How odd… I don't recall a forest ever being there? Interesting~

I don't see why I shouldn't go.

Swinging down from the barren tree I make my way towards the dead forest.

A chilly breeze pricks at my skin. It's getting cold out. The rain and blood on me aren't helping any.

Looking up to the grey sky I walk along this barren road. So tired I feel suddenly. These grey clouds must be getting to me. I wonder if a ray of sunshine will dawn on me as it did to Shizuo's body.

Shizuo and I have been playing this game for almost a decade. It's almost impossible for me to imagine Ikebukuro without him. Almost. I am Izaya Orihara, the abstract isn't far beyond my comprehension. Shizuo was very abstract. Ironically enough his personality although irritatingly irrational at times was very down to Earth. This city just wasn't big enough for the two of us.

Those who can't be swain by logic are truly annoying.

The blood on my hands is drying up, this might be a challenge to wash off. I take my hands out of my pockets and regard them once more. Shizuo's blood. A red reminder that he is in fact dead.

I sinker to myself. Honestly there isn't much that I can't do! Athletics, academics, manipulation, leading, I can do anything.

Including killing 'The Great Shizuo Heiwajima".

Laughter overcomes me again. Ah, what a fine day it is for a giant to fall at the hands of Izaya Orihara.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Happy new years! Izaya is such a glorious ass wad ^o^ <strong>


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